Oh, joyous stream of “LIKE for A, comment for B” posts that seem to have suddenly become a thing…

“LIKE if you’re part of God’s army; ignore to go to hell.” Ah dammit, I guess I have no choice since I certainly don’t want to go to hell (or some such bullshit). Ignore option 3: “my spiritual destiny is not chained to some idiot’s Facebook channel. Keep scrolling.”

When we’re not choosing between nirvana and eternal damnation in a ham-fisted dual option close, we’re often fictitiously choosing between something akin to the sky is blue/cyan. My gut reaction has always been “Does this crap really work?” Apparently it does. Most of the posts I’ve seen in this vein have more likes and comments than anything without, save for celebrities and major brands. If anything, it’s at least useful in reminding us the value of a good call to action. Amusing images may deserve feedback, but you get a lot more when you ask for it. Just, ya know, don’t build your social brand on pandering like a street hooker.

Some of them masquerade as serious polling tools, but it fails as any kind of useful mechanism simply because a user is far more likely to ‘Like’ something than comment. We’re bombarded with photos, jokes, and company offers, so passively scrolling down the feed and ‘Liking’ some things is a lot easier than typing, which makes whatever is choice A the clear winner in every case. Unless you’re polling between a box of malaria and free kittens, but then not everybody likes kittens.